How Thai girls change with their relationships
Anyone who has spent any time in Thailand would be hard pushed not to have found themselves enamored by the warmth and seduction of a pretty Thai ladies smile. Yet behind that smile often lurks many a dark thought. Now inspire is not for one minute placing them all in the same bracket, but there are certainly cultural idiosyncrasy for which there is no escaping. Just as the case in Western worlds.
The following article has been prepared by a Thai Lady and discusses how Thai ladies can change based on their relationship statuses, particularly with a foreigner. She may miss the point, she may even have got it wrong, still its a thought provoking read.
So, you thought you understood a Thai girl..!?
“I have been a little lazy over the last two months and not only that but a lot of things have happened. My cousin has just got married to a Western man and since then she has been acting and talking weird to me. It seems now she has achieved her dream of marrying a farang this now means she is entitled to give me advice. ‘Why don’t you go back to America’ and when I answer because my boyfriend lives here in Pattaya she will retort: ‘Look I like him but you deserve someone better than this, he can’t give you everything you need and there is no future here in Pattaya’. She wants me to think about her future and she cannot see past the solution of marrying a farang so that you can get the live the so called ‘dream life’ away from Thailand. It is so typical of what I experienced from Thais whom have left to live in a new country; they suddenly become experts on advice. I have lived in America for seven years, been there done that. I now know what is important, sure finances, but also happiness.
As it stands now I am biting my tongue, it is so condescending to get this kind of advice, and very typical. I know I am part of this Thai girl thing, but I cannot help but be disappointed in how many fellow Thai women act and behave. Just because she is now married does not mean she has got it made, it doesn’t mean she will be rich. I expect when she sets up home in America, that dream she has in her head won’t all be what she expects. Thai women can be very jealous of each other and there is nothing more than they like as to think they have become the ones that the others can all be jealous of. It’s quite a sad state of affair and now become culturally inbred. If you have a Thai partner, take a look sometimes at how she acts with other Thais – not how she acts to you – but with other Thais and particularly other Thai women. The most obvious time is when paying a bill to a waitress, see if she gives them eye contact. You may be a little shocked when you take in what she does, often not even acknowledging the waitress, just holding money for her to take.
What a refreshing opinion on foreigners…
I was recently with an office employee to my boyfriends business, she has worked with him for three years now and was previously from Bangkok. I spoke to her about her views on foreigners to see if she held similar opinions to what I was seeing from my cousin.
She said she really didn’t have an opinion based on them being foreign, Thai or foreign it made no different to her when working with them. She joked that getting an extended holiday from a farang is more difficult. She has chosen to have a Thai boyfriend and would never consider a farang, even though she is surrounded by them on a daily basis. ‘Why would I have a boyfriend where there are some communication issues? How could I share my true feelings? I want to be with someone whom understands me as a Thai lady and who has experienced similar culture upbringings’ she was keen to point out.
It was so refreshing to hear a Thai ladies view where it wasn’t financial reasons for choosing a partner, or in this case a foreigner. Her parents live in Hong Kong so this mean the financial pressures don’t exist like with most of us whose families live a poor life and are dependent on their siblings for money.
I guess when I hear the two views it reminds me that lives pressures really are borne from financial security and needs of the family. The strange part however is that many fellow Thai girls go in chase of the foreigner in order to live a better life and give security to their family, but then forget their roots and become somewhat snooty of others. This takes me back to the jealousy issue mentioned earlier.
What it also identifies is the hidden reality that goes against the smiling, beautiful face of most Thai women. It is not all what is seems! I have really enjoyed writing this article as it has forced me to consider the actions of others and try and understand why. Maybe I have got it all wrong, we are all different after all, and however a dark feeling inside keeps telling me I am some way towards the truth.”