By a Thai Lady living in Pattaya
An account of one Thai ladies views based on her experiences of Pattaya, clearly subjective and based on one persons view. Nonetheless, this still makes for a compelling read.
(1) Why do Westerners end up with Bar Girls rather than Office workers here in Pattaya?
I still do not really understand why foreigners end up with bar girls rather than Thai girls that work in the office. Do they think they will get real love from this relationship? Why do older foreigners like to have sex with young girls working the bars too – Is it because they cannot in their own countries?
It frustrates me as Thai bar girls ruin the reputation of other Thai ladies across the world, with Westerners thinking we are all ‘easy’. While the foreigner thinks he is having good fun with the bar girl, does he not know that all they are thinking about is the money? The problem then happens when the foreigner and bar girl relationship fails and some of them then start to form bad opinions of Thai girls. He blames the bar girl yet does he forget he went into the bar knowing she was a bar girl and then formed the relationship? Ok, some relationships like this work, but it’s a big risk the foreigner takes on and they should be aware of this.
It is amazing what becomes acceptable in Thailand yet the same thing would be frowned upon elsewhere in the world. A foreigner finds his life partner in a bar from a girl who willingly sleeps with any man who pays for it, how can the guy look at her each night having known what had previously gone on in her life? I am not condoning the girl, I understand the desperation for money and to provide for her family, I am just highlighting the impact this surely must have on the foreigner who becomes her boyfriend or husband.
(2) What a good Thai girl looks for in a relationship
This is simple: To look for a good husband and to have a family, away from Pattaya. A Thai lady wants to be close to her husband and do many things together and work very much in partnership. It’s not all one way like what many foreigners experience with their Thai partner.
If the girl works the bar then she wants someone to get her out of the bar scene and ideally as far away from Pattaya as they can. Going back to her partners’ home country is often dreamed about, where she would also be willing to work and in doing so feel proud of herself. I am 70% sure that Thai women in Pattaya don’t want to be surrounded and live around bar beers such as we have in this city.
(3) Why do Thai girls often sit away from their foreign boyfriends and in their own groups when at social gatherings – Why not all sit together?
I am guessing here as I have always sat with everyone, but it will be a couple of things. Firstly language barriers, many Thais don’t understand the conversations when the guys are in full flow and speaking fast. Plus the topics are something that Thai girls can’t join in with and enjoy talking about. I am sure most men talk about sport, business, drinking and no doubt women too, all subjects that Thai girls don’t really want to get involved in. Plus foreign men like to drink a lot at parties whilst Thai women would rather sit, eat and talk with the other Thai women there.
This isn’t all just one way, when have you seen a foreign man get up and join the Thai women in their group? You lot don’t want to talk about som tam now do you! Ha ha.
(4) What are your views of foreign women?
Foreign women are free spirited and very confident. They don’t depend on men and they can be single mums and still be happy and in control (which some Thai women also manage remarkably well). You don’t have to buy their love like you do with Thai women, don’t take this the wrong way it is just that some Thai women measure love in financial commitment. This is starting to change as Thailand becomes more Western.
(5) Why do you all love Som Tam so much!?
We are born eating Som Tam and it tastes good – It’s healthy too. There are so many lovely tastes in this dish. I understand many of you find this a smelly dish; however you should try Tum Thai which does not have crab or fish sauce as you may surprise yourself and end up liking it very much! Be sure to eat it with sticky rice and a nice piece of barbeque chicken. Aroy Mak Mak (tastes very good)!